Worst Advice Ever Given To Men? "Just Be Yourself!"

We have all heard it multiple times before at one point or another of our self-improvement journey as lovers and seducers of women. It's really everywhere. From films and blogs all over the internet to pieces of advice given by friends and family: just be yourself!

It sounds so nice and so innocent. Nobody can really guess how bad this piece of advice really is until it's too late. By writing this, we are actually saving you a lot of time and a lot of unnecessary frustration because bad advice can waste a lot of your time and lead you astray. Bad advice can deprive you of real results and real progress with girls in your dating life and this is the last thing we want for you.

So, why "just be yourself!" is the worst advice available for you as a man?

Let's see four reasons why.

4 Reasons Why "Just Be Yourself" Is Bad For You

1. It Assumes You Are Already There

When someone tells you to just be yourself he actually tells you that your current version is great and that no change needs to be made. He tells you that you have already reached your destination, so stop traveling. You' ve got it. Mission accomplished. There is nothing more to claim, want or try. However, how likely is this to be true for you? Do you feel you are already there? If yes, then feel free to stop reading this post or quit reading Men of Charm altogether. Because if you feel you have your dating life settled there is nothing more for you to seek or explore. If this is not the case, though, "just be yourself" is awful for you because it tells you to stop improving. If you don't meet enough women of your taste, if you don't go out on dates with women you like, if you don't have sex with women you want, then you simply don't have the luxury of "just being yourself". Your results will reveal to you the truth. If you have what you want with girls, then sure go ahead and be yourself. But, if being yourself doesn't bring you the desired results, it can only mean one thing: you need to become MORE than JUST yourself.

2. It Encourages Passivity

Every word of this piece of advice reeks complacency and passivity. There are few things that can harm your masculine core more than this. "Just be yourself" puts you in a wait-and-see mode which, simply put, doesn't work if you were born a man. Men's nature is about going for what you want, put in the effort, put in the numbers, take action and calculated risks. It means striving for more, not waiting for some outside force to bring you the result you want. Masculine energy is about evolving, not about being stagnant in one place. Being in passive mode, hiding behind "just yourself" damages any chance of getting the women you want and building an abundant dating life. If "just yourself" is not attractive to the women you desire, why should you hide behind it? Everything a man achieves in his life doesn't happen because he waits, but because he moves towards a certain direction. Sure, there is such thing as luck in a man's life, but it is not what most people think. Luck for a guy is not what happens when you sit on your ass "being yourself", but what happens to you as a result of the massive action you take. It's this bonus you get from the Universe, not while waiting, but while hustling to meet the women of your choice.

3. It Doesn't Reflect the Real YOU

Let's think out of the box for a moment. What if the self that is in the "just be yourself" mantra is not who you really are? Let's say you are a shy, uncharismatic guy who can't look a woman in her eyes. Why should you take this as your true self instead of just the current version of yourself? What if there is a future self waiting for you to grow and evolve into it? What if the mission of your current version is to take you to an entirely different future version of yours? What you are now is not something that you should take too seriously. Instead of being a slave to what you think you are right now, keep an open mind to what you could become.

We have seen this multiple times with men we have coached over the years: shy guys who get out of their shell and become charismatic seducers of women; introverted guys who couldn't keep a simple conversation with a girl becoming amazing conversationalists; guys who were scared to death to cold approach a woman on the street becoming street game approaching machines. See yourself as a project under development rather than a fixed, already shaped personality. Unless you were born under the name "Don Joan", approaching and attracting beautiful women is a skill that you can hone.

4. It Serves Others, But Not You

People who tell you to "just be yourself" are actually self-interested, even if they don't realize it. What they are actually encouraging you to do is remain stagnant to the same place you currently are. They tell you to surrender to your current version of yourself, because hey...this is "YOU".

They don't always do it out of malice. They do it because it is more comfortable for them. You are part of their own comfort zones and they would like you to keep being part of them. Any change you make to yourself could threaten their comfort zone and shake their certainties. Society wants you to be a good boy. Be satisfied with what you already have and play it safe.

To strive for more, to want more than a 9-to-5 job, to desire more than average-looking girls (because "really beautiful women are hard to get") is very scary for the people around you and for society in general.

Can you imagine every man on earth actually living his life to the fullest, going for what he wants and aiming high? Who needs so many uncontrollable, ambitious men walking the earth? People feel better with other people who are like them and can be managed. By definition, men who refuse to "just be themselves" because they always go for more are less easily manageable.

Conclusion

Ignore when others encourage you to "just be yourself". As a man this is the most counter-productive piece of advice you will ever hear. If you are a man who wants more out of his life, you need to be able to drop your skin and change, so as to become worthy of the results you desire. If you want attractive women in your life, you need to be willing to grow into an attractive man yourself. Being "just yourself" will not get you the dating life that you want with the women that you want. Being the BEST version of yourself will.