Want To Attract Women? Don’t Bombard Them With Questions

We have seen this time and time again with men of various age groups and backgrounds. Once a man is inspired by us to make approaching women a habit, his interactions with them end up going nowhere only minutes or even seconds after they started. The main reason for this is that most men turn a conversation with a girl into an interview.

They bombard her with one question after another, and the interaction ends up becoming too boring too soon for the girl. Even when a woman is open to meet new men, the quality of the conversation that a man can provide can make or break his chances with her.

After all, if you become boring to her from the get-go, why would she want to continue chatting with you, let alone give you her number or have sex with you.

What Is Wrong With Asking Questions?

When you are the one who approaches women – and you should, that’s your role as a man – it’s natural that you will have to play a bigger role in carrying out the interaction. You started it, so you are the one who will need to move things forward with her, especially during the very first moments.

She might be shy or she might have an introverted personality, so it’s ok to want to help her open up to you with a couple of questions about herself. What is not ok, however, is to ONLY ask her questions without giving her the opportunity to ask you questions about you as well.

Why is it that bad to bombard her with questions?

1. It Shows Insecurity

When you ask her questions continuously you seem to try too hard to get to know her. As we have said many times, however, relationships between men and women are based on attraction, and attraction has certain power dynamics that you cannot ignore as a man. When you show inability to manage silence and you feel the constant need to fill the gap with questions, it comes out to her as weakness.

Strong, confident men are very good friends with silence. Hence, the expression “silent, strong guy”. You don’t need to talk to make your presence felt. You don’t need to ask her a million questions about herself within the first five minutes of your approach. Ask her a couple of questions to get her to open up, but then let her play ball.

If you approached her at a bar, you asked her a couple things, but then she doesn’t readily come up with a question of her own, LET THE SILENCE SINK IN. Initially, it will feel “rude” or “weird” to you, but you will get used to it. Remember, when you meet a girl, your mission is not to show her what a nice, super-civilized man you are. Your purpose is to spark attraction in her, so that she wants to meet you for more.

So, if you are asking her questions, thinking that you are being “polite” or “considerate”, think again.

2. You Don’t Allow Her To Invest In You

We will not get tired of repeating this one: attraction is a matter of investment. It’s about who offers more in the interaction. If you bombard a woman with questions, guess who is the one who invests more in the interaction. Correct, it’s you.

Asking questions means you care. But what about her? Does she care about you? Well, you can only find out if you ALLOW her to invest in you by asking you questions as well. And to do that, you need to lay back and let HER fill the gap.

If she doesn’t, it means she was just talking to you out of politeness. But if she comes up with questions of her own once you let the silence sink in, it means she is intrigued by you and she wants to continue the chat with you.

3. You Show That You Are A Bad Listener

Women feel connection when they are listened to. Most men just can’t shut up. They go out on dates and they start talking about themselves. What amazing jobs they have, how much money they make, how successful they are, what they like and dislike and other boring things of this nature.

Meanwhile, women are left bored out of their minds, not feeling any attraction for some men. Then, when these men text these women to meet them again and these women respond with radio silence, they wonder what went wrong.

You talked too much, you asked her too many questions, and you didn’t allow her to show interest in you as well. That’s what went wrong. You didn’t let the silence do its magic, you didn’t allow the girl to invest in you, so she left with no attraction for you whatsoever.

What To Do Then?

Instead of asking questions, make statements. Instead of asking one question after another, mix questions with statements and silent moments. What is a statement? It’s something you say, an observation or a preference you might have about various topics.

Example

You: you know, this place has always been my favorite. The people, the atmosphere, the entire vibe here makes me feel completely at home. [silence]

Her: I think I know exactly what you mean. It’s nice, isn’t it? Do you come here often?

You: Not as much as I would like, but when I have free time I pay a visit.

Conclusion

When you approach women and when you interact with them, be it for the first time or on a date later, don’t bombard them with questions. If you do this, you show that you are insecure, that you can’t handle silence, and that you are a bad listener.

Instead, ask a couple of questions, but mix them with statements and silent pauses. This will allow the girl to express herself as well and to ask you things about yourself. It will make the interaction more interesting for both of you, and your chances to attract her, get her number, and go on a date with her will become much higher.

Do you find it difficult to zip your mouth when needed with women?

Are you guilty of talking too much and not letting girls invest in you?

Don’t stay idle any longer. Book a coaching call with us.