The Way You Attract Her Is Not The Way She Attracts You
This is one of the most perplexing things we have encountered over the years coaching dozens of men from around the world: men having the wrong idea about how men and women attract each other. Men who have an unclear or, even worse, a flawed idea about their own role in the dating game and what they bring to the table when it comes to women, sex, and relationships.
This can be a very important core problem for many guys, since the wrong idea about yourself as a man can have detrimental effects on your success with women.
If you are not sure what is your masculine power, how will you be motivated to use it, after all?
And if you don't have the right idea about what makes a woman attracted to you or not, how can you possibly build the dating life that you want with the type of women that you want?
Why Don't Men Understand Female Attraction?
The problem comes from men projecting their own attraction mechanism to women. to some extent, narrow-mindedness is a very human thing. We all do it, men and women alike.
We like to judge reality from our point of view, failing to see how the opposite sex thinks, and adapting our course to get what we want. The result is a lot of stubborn people who keep hitting a wall of unwanted results who end up becoming angry and bitter as a result.
But men do it more often and with worse results for themselves and their dating lives. They tend to perceive the game of attraction between men and women as a game of sameness and not as the game of complementarity that it really is.
Men think: I am attracted to female beauty and external appearance, so she must be attracted to male handsomeness and external appearance.
That would be the case, if the game of attraction was a game of uniformity. But it's not. It's a game of synthesis, instead; a game of bringing together different, but complementary, elements from the male and female nature respectively. Attraction is created through the spark of difference and tension between men and women, not through sameness and monotony.
She has beauty herself. She doesn't NEED you to bring beauty as well. She doesn't REQUIRE you to give her more of what she already has. What she wants is what she doesn't already have on her own.
How Men And Women Attract Each Other
Every time you see a man hitting the gym, thinking that six packs will get him girls, you see a man who projects his masculine attraction mechanism to women.
Every time you see a very well-dressed guy sitting at the bar, having his drink and not approaching girls is a guy who projects his masculine attraction mechanism to women.
Every time you hear a man saying that he "will get the women he wants" AFTER he builds wealth and progress in his career is a man who projects his masculine attraction mechanism to women.
In all these cases, men assume that just because they are attracted to the material aspect of the female, so must the female be attracted to the material aspect of the male.
But just because you like tits and asses in women - and rightfully so - it doesn't mean that women care about the material aspect of you.
The guy who wants to build six packs to attract women believes that women care about his body as much as he cares about theirs.
The man who is dressed up to the nines at the bar and plays the game "to be seen", but not to actually approach girls is a man who actually adopted the female role in the game of attraction. He believes that his appearance will be enough for a girl to feel attracted to him, just like a girl's appearance is enough for him to feel attracted to her.
The man who wants first to build an empire and THEN attract women is a man who thinks women care about his possessions and not about himself.
The truth, however, is that men and women play by nature different roles in the mating game. They have different positions in it. Women have the position of the stimulus, while men have the position of the pursuer. Women are the "pray", men are the "hunters". The stimulus attracts passively. It is meant to be a stimulus worth hunting for after all! The means through which the stimulus attracts is physical beauty. Women attract men by being pretty. Why? Because men are by nature hard-wired to seek a healthy, fertile vessel for their seed. And what is a better sign of health and fertility than female beauty in the form of a pretty face and a sexy body?
What about men's means of attraction? If women attract through physical beauty, does it mean that men attract through physical beauty as well? Far from it. The hunter doesn't have to be pretty, but skillful, which begs the question: what makes a man "skillful" and therefore attractive to a woman?
Taking action and calculated risks
Resilience towards difficulties, including her shit tests and her potential rejection
Charm
Verbal intelligence
Making her laugh
Making her feel relaxed and at ease
Managing and steering her emotions
Ability to look her through her eyes
Ability to sensually touch her
Ability to remain unfazed when you don't get what you want
Independent thinking and a little rebel attitude
Going against dominant orthodoxies and forging your own path
Exciting her
Being a good and skillful lover who can give her sexual pleasure and orgasms
What is the common element binding all these attributes together?
Do you see anything material about them?
Do you see anything related to how your face or body looks like?
Do you find anything related to your bank account, you career or the car you drive?
These are all non-material, mental aspects of your male nature that you mindlessly keep dormant, while women would DIE for a man who could exude all these traits in his interactions with them.
Conclusion
Men might spend years investing in the wrong things, mistakenly thinking that these things attract women. When they see that these things don't bring them the desired results, instead of changing what they are doing, they start complaining that women reject them and that "game doesn't work".
The truth is they never bothered to learn game because if they did they would understand that women are not attracted to men the same way men are attracted to women.
First, they project their own attraction mechanism to women, then they hit a wall and wonder why they don't get women and why they don't have an abundant dating life.
If you have read this far, you are not going to be one of these men because you now know the difference between the female and the male attraction mechanism.
Femininity is material and attracts masculinity through physical beauty.
Masculinity, however, is non-material and attracts femininity through personality.
Sure, you will find women who focus on the material aspects of a man's life: his body, his bank account, his car, his career. But these women will not be the bread and butter of your everyday life.
Unless you fashion yourself as the owner of shiny possessions instead of the owner of amazing personality traits, you are not going to encounter gold-diggers or sugar babes in your normal day-to-day life.
Instead, you will meet pretty girls with normal lives who want to be attracted by charming, interesting guys who can make them laugh and give them a few strong orgasms.
And this is FANTASTIC news for you for two reasons:
Because as a man you can actually shape your personality and learn how to develop all the personality traits and skills of an attractive male much more than a woman can shape her appearance if she is not already pretty.
Because most men will keep focusing on the wrong things anyway, competing with millions of other men who try to make money or buy a luxury car or get the career, thinking that women will be so utterly shocked and impressed that they will drop dead for them.
Now that you know what attracts women, let's put it into practice.
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