Should A Man Listen To Dating Advice From Women?
Once upon a time there was a young hunter who set for himself the goal of hunting deer. On a beautiful, sunny day, full of enthusiasm, he went to the woods to pursue his new goal.
However, his equipment was not up to date, and his gun was old. To make things worse, he was inexperienced in hunting deer and he lacked the necessary skill set.
He had no idea how to catch the deer or which out of all the possible ways would be more effective.
On the one hand, he was fully aware of his shortcomings, but on the other he didn't want to do the hard work necessary to find out which method was the best.
So, he decided to do the unthinkable:
When the deer would be at sight, he would slowly hide his gun, he would stay at safe distance so as not to scare the deer away, and he would simply ask the deer itself how would it like to be caught...
After all, who is better than the prey itself to tell me how I should get it?
Are you perplexed by such an absurd image?
Because I would.
And yet this is how the average man thinks when it comes to improving his dating skills in attracting girls.
He would gladly ask for the advice of a female friend or his sister or even his...mom on how to get such and such woman, what to do to attract such and such girl or how to reconnect with an ex girlfriend.
Well, here is the truth.
If the image of a hunter asking for hunting advice from the deer seems absurd to you, then the habit of many men to ask for dating advice from women should be as much absurd (if not even more).
Different Roles, Different Mentalities
When a woman, be it your friend, sister or mother, gives you advice for your love life she does so with good intentions. She doesn't want to lie to you or to tell you inaccuracies of any kind. She genuinely wants to help you, especially if you were the one who asked for her opinion.
But the problem is that even when women think they are objective in essence they are still quite subjective.
And the reason for that is?
They can't detach themselves from the role Mother Nature gave them, namely the role of the object of desire. The role of the prey which by definition can't think like a hunter.
Women are first women, then your friends. First sexual stimuli, then your besties. The piece of advice you are going to get will most certainly correspond to her role as a woman, not to your role as a man.
This happens for two reasons:
A) The advice you receive from girls is filtered through their position and value in the sexual market.
Have you ever had a female friend of mediocre looks who criticized you for approaching hot girls and told you not to be "that shallow" supposedly because hot girls have such and such disadvantages? Maybe she told you that hot girls will not be loyal to you. Or maybe that they are crazy and too much to handle.
If you are the average, gullible nice guy you will think that this female friend of yours wants to protect you from a potential heartbreak. And yes it is true. She indeed wants to see you happy rather than not.
But it is not just that. Subconsciously, she sends you another message: don't go for beautiful women, go for women like me instead. I might not be your dream girl, but I have other qualities that should be useful to a man.
On a conscious level, she wants to be helpful to you. On a subconscious level, though, she wants to increase her value in the sexual market (for her or girls like her), fighting off the competition other types of women represent (in this case, the "hot ones").
B) Women's advice for men corresponds to their female narrative about life.
Again, has ever a female friend or cousin or sister of yours told you that she wouldn't like to be cold approached by an"unknown man"or that she would be "annoyed" if a guy approached her on the street? Or maybe she told you that men who approach girls outside their social circles look "desperate" or "lame" and you'd better stop doing that approaching-women-out-of-the-blue thing.
At first glance, she wants to protect your image, but on a deeper level she is just telling you how life is from a woman's perspective.
And what kind of perspective is this? All you need to do is read erotic novels or watch movies women like to get your answer. The female perspective about life is one of passive expectation and hope.
Women like to think of themselves as heroines of a novel written by the forces of destiny. They like to think of their lives through the lenses of "it just happened" rather than of "I made it happen". Girls enjoy being on the receiving end of outside events that are happening to them.
Fate, Kismet, Destiny... no matter how you choose to call it, women believe in it and they live their dating lives accordingly.
The big loves, the sex, the big emotions and the dramatic breakups are not experienced by women as outcomes produced by conscious action, but as random events that happened to them for a hidden reason.
All this tells you is that women are accustomed to waiting. Waiting, not acting, is at the core of their female nature. And waiting works.
For them.
Does waiting work for you as a man, though?
If a girl looks pretty and waits, it is a certain fact and a good portion of the men who see her out there will do something about it. They will talk to her, they will propose her, they will text her...
But what if you looked pretty and just waited? Would girls jump on you? Would they approach you? Would they ask you out? Would anything happen in your dating life with girls, if you did not take massive action?
So, now you know better when you hear some female friend of yours or any woman for that matter tell you that approaching women is not ok.
What This Means For You
Nature herself already did it for the two sexes: she gave specific roles to each one.
You are a hunter, she is the prey.
You are action, she is expectation.
You are the conqueror, she is the object of desire.
You are attack, she is defence.
The only thing you need to do is to play your role as man and let women play theirs.
Don't allow advice that are not designed for you and your masculine happiness cloud your judgment.
Girls themselves in fact want you to stick to your guns because at a deeper level they sense that only if you play your role as a man will they be happy as well.
And if the prey can't give advice to the hunter, and women can't give dating advice to men, who can?
There are two sources of dating wisdom and advice you should instead follow:
Yourself: Through your own personal experiences, successes and failures, you learn what works and what doesn't.
Other hunters/other men: It's one thing to get all the answers on your own from scratch and a completely different thing to "hack" your way to dating abundance and happiness, using the knowledge and expertise of other men who have already spent years to get those answers. Instead of making baby steps, with the women you want.
Comments