How To Make A Girl Fall For You (Not What You Think)

You must have heard this many times by both male and female friends. And you have certainly seen it in the form of multiple Hollywood scripts laid out before your eyes time and time again.

He is a next-door nice guy in the role of the neighbor, the co-student, or the colleague. He secretly wants her. He is trying to show her this in little, indirect, shy ways. Maybe he is offering to hold her groceries as he accidentally bumps into her when she enters the building. Maybe she brings her a cup of coffee every now and then when he sees her at the office. Maybe he offers to drive her somewhere she needs to be just to get some personal time with her.

She somehow senses that he might like her, but she doesn't pay too much attention or maybe she does pay some attention, but she resists every time he tries to create a "personal bubble" for the two of them.

He then thinks that he needs to actually increase the effort he spends for her. I just need to do more, he thinks, to get her attention. Maybe I should send her flowers on her birthday, maybe I could buy her a little gift or maybe I could just help with her furniture, yes, that's it! She is moving to another apartment next Sunday after all.

She is flattered. He is always so helpful and considering, she thinks to herself. How cute of him!

For him the solution is to provide ever bigger doses of what he is already doing: more phone calls, more texts, more gifts and grand gestures, more likes on the photos she posts on social media.

He needs to show that he is interested in her. That he is invested in her. That he cares about her. In his mind, the only reason why she hasn't given in yet is because he hasn't done enough for her. He hasn't invested in her enough.

The narrative is crystal clear: to conquer a woman you must invest in her. For a girl to get attached to you, you must first give. The more you give the higher the odds you are going to get her. If you don't spend enough time and energy, you just can't attract girls.

And they are right. Your male friends are right. Your female friends are right. The Hollywood script writers are right. They understand that there is indeed a connection between the practice of giving and the feeling of emotional attachment.

What they don't tell you, however, is who is the one who gets in fact emotionally attached. Is it the one who gets or the one...who gives?

If you are a typical guy you are accustomed to understanding most interpersonal relationships of your life through the lenses of reciprocation. What you give is what you get, you think. You believe that human interactions are based on linear and proportionate transactions.

The person who receives a gift is somehow bound by the law of reciprocity, after all, right? He must in turn offer something in exchange for that gift.

I have bad news for you.

Your relationships with women are neither linear nor proportionate. They are not defined by rules of logical reciprocity. In fact, the exact opposite is true when it comes to your interactions with the girls you desire sexually: the person who gives gets attached. The one who invests gets attracted, while the one who receives remains emotionally detached.

Let me put it in plain English.

Two business partners decided to invest in a new business opportunity valued at 100,000$. However, one of them is willing to invest 80,000$ of the money needed, while the other one feels comfortable with putting only 20,000$ into this opportunity. So, one partner is ready to cover 80% of the final investment, while the other one wants to contribute 20% of it. Now, let’s imagine that after they both contribute their share, something wrong happens with the business. Clients stop being interested in the product or service of the business or a financial crisis hits the world or whatever have you.

In such a case, who would be less willing to walk away from the deal? The partner who put 20,000$ or the partner who put 80,000$?

It’s of course the partner who contributed 80,000$, isn’t it?

The partner who put more money at stake is more willing to stay and make this deal work because his contribution and commitment is higher. Meanwhile, the partner who put less money is more likely to walk away because he simply has less to lose.

Do you see it now?

It is therefore the one who gives more that gets in turn attached more. Not the other way around like your friends or Hollywood want to make you believe.

Be it a business opportunity or a sexual relationship with a girl, the same principle is at work.

You see, in real life, contrary to Disney stories, every move of yours that is simply “too much” will be doomed to fail with girls. If you dedicate too much time or energy just to chase one specific girl you will probably end up without the girl.

We have coached many men who came to us in a state of utter pessimism and low self-esteem, who thought of themselves as completely lost cases with women. But when we scratched the surface we found out that these men were actually overinvesting in specific girls, and that this habit to give too much left the girls indifferent to them. And this indifference against their overinvestment crashed them emotionally and psychologically.

You Make Her Invest, She Offers You Compliance

If you truly want to hone your skills in approaching and attracting women, you must keep your emotional and overall involvement in her to a minimum. This is even more crucial before you have sex with her and in order to have sex with her.

Putting too much time, too much energy or too much emotional attachment into a girl you just met before you even exchanged juices with her is not natural. It is creepy, and she will let you know about it by…running away from you.

Instead, do the opposite. Do what successful men have been doing with women since the dawn of time: Make her invest in you. Lead her to put herself more energy into you than you into her.

Making her invest in you from the beginning of your interaction with her increases your chances of actually attracting her and keeping her.

From things that seem insignificant to things that are more important, make it a habit to ask her to invest in your interaction.

You start from small little things, then you move progressively to higher levels of commitment. Just imagine that everything you receive from her is deposited into an attraction savings account which when full will lead to hot sex with her.

How To Ask Her To Invest And Make Her Fall For You

Indicative Examples:

• When you first approach her and shake hands to introduce yourself: If you continue to gently keep her hand for more than a flash second, does she allow it? Does she let you keep her hand? If yes, she is investing in YOU.

• You ask her hand to supposedly check whether her skin is as soft as it seems and she immediately gives her hand to you – “Of course it’s as soft as it seems! Here, touch me to see” - She is investing in YOU.

• When you are in a loud bar or club standing next to her: You signal her to come closer because she smells so good and you wanted to get a better grasp of her perfume. Does she follow your signal? Does she come closer to you? Does she let you sensually smell her neck? She is investing in YOU.

• When you are in a date with her: You tell her how wonderful her hair is, in case it is natural, and right away she tells you “yes, absolutely natural! Touch it if you want”. She is investing in YOU.

The techniques for asking girls to invest in you can be limitless.

The point we want to make in this post is that you must reverse your thinking around giving too much to girls before you even have sex with them.

Once you make a mental note to take a few risks and ask for more investment from women earlier on in your interactions with them, you will see them intrigued by you big time! They will be totally hooked and the chances of you two having sex together skyrockets.

Why, you might ask.

Most men do not even dare to put a girl outside her comfort zone, that’s why. Most guys simply play it safe, don’t take risks and bore women out of their minds.

The result?

Less sex for them and more sex for you!

If you mean to follow our advice, that is.

Just remember. Every girl you successfully attracted and had sex with was a girl you successfully led to giving you a little bit more…

This is how you build a solid foundation with women. This is how in fact you make them fall for you. And if you need to learn more and supercharge your results with girls, we are here to help you.