How To Avoid Being A Beta Male

In a previous article, we talked about the eight signs of a beta male. If you didn't read it, we suggest that you do before reading this one. If, however, you did read it and you recognized some of these signs on you, keep reading to see how you can get rid of them.

1. Develop Strong Self-Esteem

A big part of the beta male personality is good old-fashioned lack of confidence. But what is confidence and how can you get it? Is it part of a man's DNA or is it something that can be cultivated? If you were an animal, chances are that the entire terminology of alpha and beta males would equal to destiny for you. You wouldn't be able to change it. It would be in your nature to be either the leader of the pack or just a follower of the pack.

Fortunately, you are not an animal. You are a man. This means you have the ability to shape yourself and to define your personality traits to a huge extent. If you lack confidence right now, you can train yourself to develop it.

Confidence is the belief that you are adequate and capable of getting what you want. It is the idea that you are strong enough and skilled enough and that you have what it takes to live a happy and abundant life. Strong self-esteem means you can stay mentally strong even when circumstances change for the worse. When you have a healthy self-image you don't feel threatened by external conditions.

You don't collapse when a girl rejects your approach. You don't react to adversity, you respond. When she is not available for a drink you don't get disappointed. And when she is not ready to have sex with you at a particular moment you remain cool.

Developing a strong self image depends both on mental tricks and on practical experience. You must do both to become more confident.

• Remember all the things you are good in.

• Recall all the moments of your past that were glorious for you. Things you achieved by being smart, dynamic, and effective.

• Take note of the strengths and talents that other people say you often have. What are others coming to you for? How do they think you can help them? After you detect them, start using them as sources of personal satisfaction and pride.

• Train your brain to think high of yourself and all your talents.

• Watch films with male characters of old times and borrow elements. How do they behave? How do they walk? How do they talk? How do they interact with women?

• Forget about your past negative experiences. You define yourself based on how you think and act now. Past negative experiences should not be allowed to have power over you.

• Treat past rejections by girls as random moments in time, not as a coherent narrative about yourself.
  

2. Turn From Passive To Active

Start understanding that waiting is not a man's way to get what he wants out of life. It is in your nature to be proactive. To take the initiative, to be a leader, a self-starter and a risk-taker. If you want to meet and attract pretty girls you need to go for it. You need to approach more women. You need to go out of your shell and actually be able to talk to them whenever and wherever you see them. Be it during daytime or nighttime. At a shopping mall or the street. At a bar or at the airport.

If there was even a moment that you somehow believed that girls will come to your life by chance or as a result of some kind of a big cosmic plan, you need to wake up. There is no plan for your bed to become less empty. There is no magical way to meet beautiful women. There is only your desire to meet them and your willingness to go out of your room to find them. If you don't do anything about it, nothing will happen. So, stop waiting for something or someone to give you permission and start expressing your masculine energy in a healthy, extroverted way.

3. Learn To Say "No"

Being a "yes man" will not reward you, so stop believing that it will. If you put a gun on my head and asked me what is the number one characteristic of beta male, this is the one I would pick. Inability to say "no" is really what makes beta males beta. Understand that it is impossible to please everyone. But even if it somehow was possible, it wouldn't matter because your mission is not to please others, but to live a rich and fulfilling experience as a man with his own distinct personality.

• Develop preferences and tastes in all fields of life. Food, travel destinations, activities, and women.

• Allow yourself to like some of them and dislike some others. You are not an interesting person if you just like everything. Dare to be choosy.

• Stop caring about what others think of you.

• Stop wanting to be liked.

• Your role is to be authentic, not to fit in.

• Learn to develop different views than your family or social circle members. Don't treat your parents, relatives and friends as the only source of truth.

• Find your own truths and forge your own path.

• Make your voice heard.

• We live in the era of information. You have all the resources to experience different stimuli. Use them to develop your own distinct repertoire of tastes and preferences.

4. Become Outcome Independent

Stop caring about any single outcome in your life, especially your dating life. Women are an abundant resource, so you shouldn't care about how things will go between you and any single one of them. One door closes, another will open if you keep taking action. Talk to many girls, take multiple shots, it's in your nature to play the numbers game. Don't live in scarcity land. Treat women like girls and don't allow their reactions to affect your mood or your behavior. Avoid putting girls on a pedestal and stop making women your only source of satisfaction and confidence. Focus on achieving your big goals with girls (e.g. "I want to have more sex", "I want to go on more dates", "I want to approach more girls"), but don't turn any single girl into a make-or-break point for your success with women.

5. Appreciate Freedom More Than Comfort

A friend once told me: "you know what, I can't wake up in a place alone. I want to see someone in the house". I was almost shocked by such a statement. It sounded extremely limiting for my tastes. Not being able to wake up alone? Needing the presence of a woman at all times or else your life feels it lacks a pillar? That's strange.

Even if you feel that your personality is about partnership and overall comfort, you need to add more doses of freedom to your life as a modern man. Without increased degrees of freedom you are not going to taste the success and abundance that you could. You will not realize your potential as an attractive man. Learn to spend time with yourself and get pleasure out of it.

Find hobbies and activities that nourish your brain and body.

Don't think that you need to always be part of a group to feel happy and whole as a man. We are not telling you to be alone. We are telling you to be able to spend time alone and enjoy it if it comes to that. The company of others is an option, not a necessity for the attractive man.

Unless you appreciate and claim your personal freedom you will stay forever in the beta male land, and your results with women will be mediocre at best. Freedom of being alone and having fun with it. Freedom to schedule your day the way you please.

Freedom of moving or traveling whenever you want.

Freedom to be different.

Freedom not to belong.

Freedom not to be liked.

Freedom to approach women and express yourself in a direct, attractive way.

Make a point of tasting all these types of freedoms, embody them, and you will enjoy a far superior quality of life than most men ever will.

So, this is the way to avoid being a beta male or to stop being one if you already are. On top of it, you will become much more attractive to the women you want. After that, you will never look back ever again.