Beginner With Women? 3 Reasons Why You Must Be Patient With Yourself

We have seen this many times over the years, coaching men and teaching them how to attract women and get the dating lives they truly desire: men being impatient with themselves, impatient with the process, impatient with reaching their goals with women.

While being impatient with making progress with women can have a productive aspect to it because it can make you take massive action to get there, it can also function as an obstacle to your success with women – in fact, in most cases it works exactly like that.

Guys who haven’t approached girls for years and want to start now from scratch get angry or frustrated when their first ten cold approaches don’t actually lead to anything meaningful: a phone number, a date, or sex. This untimely frustration for not getting results fast enough can lead them to exit the Game prematurely and lose all great romantic opportunities that lie ahead.

We are writing this post to help you avoid leaving the Game too early and cut yourself out from amazing experiences with pretty girls out there.

Here are three reasons why you need to be patient with yourself when it comes to meeting and attracting girls, especially if you are starting your self-improvement journey now.

1. Your Mentality Is Not Right

This is your inner Game. It is the most crucial part of any man’s journey to get the women he wants and build the dating life that he wants. This is the “software” you are running in your brain. It is what you carry with you when you open your door to go out and interact with the opposite sex.

It’s about:

• Having the right idea about how things work

• Your self-perception

• Your expectations from the Game

• Your notion about what you can and cannot achieve with women

• What is masculine and what is feminine energy and how each attracts the other

• Your fears and insecurities

• Your limiting beliefs

When you don’t have this in its right place, everything else goes nowhere. There is no way possible to have a negative or counter-productive mentality about women and Game and end up winning at it.

What are the most usual inner Game issues beginners face with Game and women? We are glad you asked.

Being entitled to results from women

It’s this crazy demand, sometimes expressed out loud and sometimes remaining hidden, that women somehow “must” give you what you want only because YOU want it. Here is a wake-up call: girls don’t owe you anything. Women are not “supposed” to act a certain way towards you.

They didn’t sign a contract with you saying that they will shower you with kisses, hugs, sex, love or warm feelings.

You are entitled to taking action in order to get what you want, but you are not entitled to specific results with specific women.

Some women might be enthusiastic meeting you, some others might be colder than ice, and some others might be lukewarm. Some will give you their number and some others not. Some will reply to your texts, some not. Some will go out with you, some others not. Accept the non-linear character of your interactions with women and don’t expect to get anything just because “you deserve it”.

Feeling like victims of circumstance

Because beginners treat the innate asymmetric nature of the Game of attraction as a problem rather than an opportunity, they often feel they have zero control over it which in turn makes them feel “victims”. They get angry and bitter that they don’t have the women they want in their lives. They consider themselves “helpless” soldiers of fortune with no real impact on their own results. They quit dating altogether instead of trying to better themselves and learn how things with women work.

Thinking that dating is easier for women

Many beginners think that girls have it easier than men when it comes to attracting and keeping each other interested. However, that’s wrong because all men are doing by believing this is that they project their own masculine desires unto women.

The truth is that women’s end game is not the same as that of a man. Most women don’t seek as much sex as possible with as many beautiful members of the opposite sex like men do. Most women’s long-term strategy is about finding a quality partner and keeping him for as long as possible or at least until they get bored, and that is not always easy to find.

Women might be bombarded by scores of thirsty, low-quality men on their social media accounts, but how many out of them make the cut for the quality experience that most women seek long-term? Very few, in fact.

Not understanding male-female dynamics

Beginners think that women are like men. But they are not. Women are more about emotion than logic. For this reason, they are more prone to mood swings. Their emotions are fluctuating depending on many factors. That’s good news for you because you can learn how to steer a woman’s emotions to spark attraction. It can be bad news, though, if you haven’t learnt this yet. It might feel like an uphill battle if you are a beginner with women.

Women are attracted not so much to a man’s physical appearance, but to a man’s personality and energy. This means that if you are a handsome man with a boring personality, without an edge, women will not be attracted to you just because you look good.

All the above are things a beginner hasn’t understood yet, as he is at the start of his journey with attraction and women. A beginner basically starts with a boy’s mentality instead of a man’s mentality.

2. Your Seduction Skills Are Not Honed

This is your outer Game. It’s about how skilled you are with girls, whether you effectively exude an attractive masculine energy.

Usual outer Game issues for beginners are the following:

They don’t approach enough

The idea that a man’s results are greatly depended on the sheer amount of work that he can put in is usually something foreign for a beginner with women. They have this idea that life happens TO you, not that life can be built proactively BY you. Beginners enter the Game thinking that meeting girls is a matter of luck rather than effort, so they aren’t ready yet to approach enough girls on a daily basis to get access to more romantic opportunities. They talk to a couple of girls here and there, these girls are not available for one reason or another, then they get frustrated because “girls are NEVER available for them”.

They approach in a timid way

Beginners might start approaching more women, but the quality of their approaches might be initially weak. They might use weak eye contact or they might be hesitant to touch a woman. Another issue might be bad calibration: not having figured out yet what is “too little” and what is “too much”. They might move from zero eye contact to too intense eye contact, from too late touch to too early touch.

They use small talk instead of sexy/teasing talk

Beginners might be nice guys who don’t want to “break things”, so they might choose to have “safe” and “harmless” interactions with women. This means going for small talk or social talk instead of something that might put a girl out of her comfort zone like teasing or being slightly cocky – things that could add some spice to their approaches.

They go on long dates without making a move or inviting women home

Because beginners are more likely to mind their step with girls, they might spend hours on a date with women. They think that they are being “safe”, but having long dates is the riskiest thing you can do for attraction. Long dates that go nowhere might feel boring to women. Girls like to experience escalated experiences, from low-stimulus to higher-stimulus situations. When you prolong the date without giving the girl the sense of “evolution”, you are risking being put in the friendzone or the provider zone.

3. You Don’t Have Enough Reference Points

The third and last reason why you need to be patient with yourself as a beginner with women is that you simply don’t have enough empirical experience yet. It happens with everything new or with everything you start again after a long period of inaction. You don’t have enough data points, you don’t have enough interactions, you didn’t take enough shots. You do not know what is possible for you, so the only way to know is to dive in and keep going. When you are a beginner with women, you are too “green”, too “vanilla” to know what is true and what is not.

You usually come to the Game with pre-existing notions about women, sex, and attraction which were shaped by family and society and have nothing to do with what is actually true in the real world.

Like Morpheus legendarily said to Neo in “The Matrix”….”Welcome to the Desert of the Real”.

Conclusion

As a beginner with women you really need to be patient with yourself.

Patience means that you are self-aware. It means that you know that you are starting with certain limitations.

It means that you know that there are things you don’t know about women, sex, and attraction…yet.

By the way, "beginner with women" doesn't necessarily mean that you are completely inexperienced with women. It might as well mean that you are starting over after having been out of the Game for a long time.

In this post, we mentioned three reasons why you need to be patient with yourself when you (re)start your journey with girls.

1. Your Mentality Is Not Right

2. Your Seduction Skills Are Not Honed

3. You Don’t Have Enough Reference Points

To master all these three things, it will take some time – and that’s ok.

Rome wasn’t built in one day, but we have good news for you:

We can help you shorten your learning curve drastically, using our more-than-a-decade long experience with women and attraction. Your dating happiness as a modern man should not be left to chance. Take action today. Book a coaching call with us.