8 Signs You Are A Beta Male
Beta males are everywhere. In fact, this is the most prevalent type of man you are going to see. Modern day society is counting on them to function properly. They are the cogwheels of the social machine. There are parts of the manosphere where being a beta male is not considered to be such a bad thing for you. In our case, however, we don’t intend to mince our words. We are not going to sugarcoat it for you. Being a beta male is not the best way to live your life as a man. You are not going to realize your potential as a modern man by being a beta. In Men of Charm, we are optimizers. We seek to live the best life we can as men. We don’t seek to live just a good enough life. We want to be the best men we can and enjoy the fruits of our labor. If you are anything like us and especially if you want to get better with girls and be able to attract beautiful women in your life being beta will not help you. There are men out there who either consciously or unconsciously chose to be beta males because they somehow thought that it suited them. If you are one of them, then this post is not for you. If however you sense that you are a beta male and you are not happy about it, keep reading.
The first step to change something you don’t like is being aware of it. So, what are the characteristics of a beta male?
1. You Lack Confidence
You don’t believe in yourself because you have a weak self-image. Being confident is all about believing that you have what it takes to succeed in living the life you want and getting the girls you want. Whether because your parents didn’t encourage you enough when you were younger or because you had some bad experiences with girls early on as a teenager, you didn’t develop the belief that you are capable of getting what you want out of life. You let those initial bad experiences shape you as a person and as a man. You simply decided that hey you are not that kind of man that girls find attractive and you kept going with this idea in your mind as an adult. Because Lucy from high school rejected you, you turned this negative moment into a defining aspect of your personality. Because you were a fat kid you ended up thinking that your body type is simply a part of who you are and hey what girl would dig a fat guy like you, right? Wrong. Confidence is not dependent on body types. It is a feature of your personality that you can cultivate by reversing your thinking and by acting a certain way. Having a healthy masculine body is of course good for you, but not the absolute benchmark for your success with women. Many times, lack of confidence is masked as shyness or introvertedness. It is this idea in your brain that you are not enough.
2. You Wait Rather Than Act
“Good things happen to those who wait” might be your favorite motto. Since you have low self-esteem, you tend to be passive rather than active. You live just by following a certain routine without being proactive. You just do what’s absolutely necessary, and beyond that you simply get what life throws your way. Besides, why act when doing so ended up in a disaster when you tried it sometime in the past? You think that things in your life just happen or they don’t. You are not a shaper or a doer. If a girl doesn’t send you a clear green light, you just assume she is not interested. Is she staring at you? That’s good news to you. Is she not looking at your direction? Then probably she is not interested and what’s the point of approaching her, you think. And those rare moments you decide to finally act? You do so timidly instead of boldly. You half-ass things. You don’t show intent. You just try to appear friendly and indirect to a girl. You play it safe.
3. You Are A Follower, Not A Leader
You are a prisoner of your own comfort zone. You avoid taking the initiative. You are not a self-starter. It feels easier to you to just lay back, take the backseat role and let others do the hard work of leading. For you, making decisions is a chore. Doing what you are told feels much simpler. Following clear rules and procedures is almost liberating for you. Developing independent thinking and action takes time and has high chances of failing, you believe, so you just don’t do it. You don’t voice your opinion because who would listen to you anyway? And what if you try to lead, you try to express yourself, you try to raise your voice and some people get annoyed because of it? What if you approach that hot girl and she rejects you? What if you actually go for the kiss during your date with that beautiful woman and she turns her cheek? And what if you tease her and she gets angry and offended? Oh no…
4. You Care Too Much About Other People’s Opinion
…which brings us to the next sign that you are a beta male. You care too much about what others think, especially what girls think. You desperately want to be liked more than you want to get results in life and women. You think that you have higher chances of getting what you want if people like you, but that doesn’t work like that. Being a people pleaser works if you want to become a woman’s friend, but not if you want to become her lover. Women don’t have sex with agreeable, predictable nice guys. Women have sex with men who can challenge them playfully and who have the guts of expressing their opinions boldly and freely. If you walk on eggshells every time you talk to a girl, caring too much about her opinion on you, then you will fail to create the spark of attraction needed for you and her to end up together in bed. The same thing happens if you become too agreeable to a girl you already have. Your relationship with your girlfriend will go south because she will lose attraction for you. Caring about a girl’s opinion too much is boring for her. Plain and simple.
5. You Are Slave To Limiting Beliefs
Fear dominates your entire existence as a man. Your ideas about sex, girls, and dating are just a bunch of stereotypes and limiting beliefs. Because you don’t believe in yourself you invent a series of ideas about women to justify and perpetuate your lack of confidence.
“Women don’t really want sex”
“Women are just gold-diggers”
“Women always want the bigger, better deal”
“I need money to attract women”
“Women go for six-pack guys”
“Women are superficial”
“When I become rich girls will fall head over heels for me”
By sticking to these false beliefs about women you give permission to yourself to remain passive and leave your dating life to chance. You pre-decided that taking action to improve yourself as a man and get the girls you desire is pointless, so you avoid taking any meaningful risks that would in fact lead you to actually get what you want.
6. You Are A Social Conformist
You want to fit in rather than stick out. Being different, thinking differently, acting differently than the crowd intimidates you. You define yourself based on how you can be useful to others, not by who you are and what is important for you. Your self is just a function of your social roles. It’s not about who YOU are. It’s about who you are to others. You don’t have a rich personal life outside your social obligations. Your time and energy usually belong to others; your boss, your parents, your friends. You are a friend, a son, a boyfriend, an employee first and oh by the way you also happen to be a man of your own. You spend your life serving the agenda of others rather than investing in your own personal growth and happiness.
7. You Put Women On A Pedestal
Pretty girls are a rare commodity to you. You suffer from scarcity mentality, so every time you meet a beautiful girl who is also your type you treat her like a princess. You shower her with compliments from the get-go. You show too much willingness to know her. You let your desire for her cloud your judgement and you end up giving too much too early. Instead of being mysterious, cocky and charming, you are boring and predictable. You try to be polite and nice to her and you agree with everything she says. To you, it is a privilege just that she is talking to you. If you actually get a date with her you show up unreasonably well-dressed as if you are going to marry her. You put too much energy thinking about it and preparing for the date with her. At her presence you act like a little, enthusiastic boy. You behave like she is the best thing that happened to you. You talk about safe subjects because her getting insulted would feel terrible to you. You supplicate to girls and act like a simp.
8. You Are Outcome Dependent
You care too much about a specific result with any specific girl. Because it is rare for you to take real, systematic action, when you actually do you put too much effort in it. The result? You try too hard, and she can see it. Since you invest in her too early too much, you can’t handle an unfavorable outcome. If you approach her after gathering all your courage and she rejects you, it’s a disaster for you. If you take her on a date and she doesn’t accept your kiss, it’s the end of the world. If you invite her home and she resists having sex with you, it’s a blow to your self-esteem. You didn’t develop an abundance mindset with women and you place too much emphasis on any single one of them. Meanwhile you are oblivious to the big picture which tells you that there are 4 billion women on Earth and that if some of them don’t like you others will.
So, there you go. These are the eight characteristics of a beta male. In case you saw yourself in any of them and you are willing to change in order to get the girls you want, stick with us because in another post we will tell you how to stop being a beta male. And if you want to hack your way there, we are here to help you supercharge your results with women.
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