5 Ways To Become A More Confident Man With Women

I was once out with a friend. We were having our drink at a nice lounge bar. Across the bar, there was a blond, pretty girl with long hair and an impressive bust enjoying her drink with another girl.

My friend said to me: "Do you see that blonde over there? I really like her. She is gorgeous".

"And what are you going to do about it?", I asked him.

"Nothing really", he said.

"Nothing? Are you going to just stand like that, although you dig her?", I replied in wonder.

"I know I should probably go meet her, man, but I am just not that confident."

Ah confidence... This magical substance that men have venerated for ages. Confidence has been treated by men like the Holy Grail of manhood. If you have it, you can do anything. You can talk to any girl you like and achieve great results. And if you don't have it? Well, you are doomed. Better forget it like my friend suggested when I poked him to go talk to that blonde.

But is this the right way to think about confidence? Is it something you are born with or is it something you can cultivate? Is confidence a magical substance that happens to be part of some lucky men's DNA or is it a set of beliefs and behaviors that a man might as well develop any time he chooses?

The good thing about being a human being is that you can use your mind to think and act the way you please. You can use your conscious thoughts and actions to become whatever you want and to develop whatever skills or attitudes that you find meaningful and effective.

Even if you were born with a confidence gene "deficiency", even if your family or social environment might not have been conducive to your developing a confident character, YOU CAN still take the right steps on your own to become more confident with girls.

Without further ado, let's see five practical ways you can become more confident with women.

1. Stop Comparing Yourself To Other Men

Comparison is the thief of joy, they say, and they are spot on about it. Looking outwards to how other men are so much more confident than you and getting depressed about it will not do you any good. Quite the opposite: it will create an inferiority complex in your mind and will lock you into passivity. You can't be active towards what you want, if you don't see the point of moving your ass. If you think the game is already lost, that you simply can't be as confident with girls as other men, then it's natural for you to not do anything at all.

The only person you are allowed to compare with is YOURSELF. This is not about you versus other men. It's about you now versus you before. All you should care about is how you progress in comparison with yourself, not with what other men do or where other men are in their self-improvement journey. Every man is different. Every man starts from different places. If you see a guy approaching girls with no hesitation, this man too started from somewhere.

Stop idealizing the results of other men and understand that they too have built their skills with women. And guess what: if THEY did, so can YOU. But if you insist on paying attention on how other men are doing with girls, then you might as well do it productively: use other men who are currently more confident than you as sources of inspiration and learning, not as a reason to get disappointed and quit

2. Take Action

Motion creates emotion. Your appetite for food increases once you start eating. The same happens with your appetite to approach and attract women. First, you move your feet to go meet a girl you like and THEN you see your appetite and confidence increase. Most men do this the other way around: because they treat confidence as part of one's DNA that can't be actually developed, they wait first to feel confident and only then to make the move.

You must do the exact opposite, if you really want to get the girls you want and enjoy an abundant dating life. You put in the effort in advance FIRST and you expect to feel more confident AFTER. If you don't talk to at least two or three new girls every day, I don't know what you are doing. The more you act and play the numbers game the more confident you will feel. After all, it's in your masculine nature. Honor it accordingly.

3. Take Risks

Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is madness. After you find your pace with consistent action, approaching girls on a daily basis, and getting things started, you need to start raising the stakes. To become more confident you don't only need to act, but to act gradually in bolder ways.

Most men find the courage to talk to girls within their social circle, but lack the courage to cold approach girls that are unknown to them. They might find the balls to talk to the girl who happens to sit next to them in a bar, but they are scared to approach a girl across the room. Guys who feel ok approaching women during the day, but don't even dare to approach women at night or vice versa: men who can approach girls at loud night clubs, but can't say "hi" to a girl walking down the street in broad daylight.

No matter where you feel comfortable, you need to go out of your comfort zone and take more risks. Taking more risks is like doing gym on steroids for your confidence. Doing things that other men don't even dare will make you feel ecstatic and powerful. Use your fear to get uncomfortable as a fuel for a little bit more risk with girls: maybe for you this is approaching girls in public or talking to them in loud clubs packed with other people or teasing them more and not being such a nice guy.

4. Imitate Confident Men

We told you already not to compare yourself with other men. We also told you to look at other men in a productive manner; to choose the "If he can do it, I can do it too" mentality instead of the "I will never be as confident as this guy" mentality. Being a shameless cloner of confident men who are successful with women can significantly reduce your learning curve. If you want to become a more confident man, it only makes sense to see how confident men act, right?

These men can be parts of your real life, be it a friend of yours who is a natural with women or any other strong masculine figures in your social environment. They can also be male characters in movies, literature, and pop culture.

• Read books and watch movies with confident male archetypes.

• Pay attention to how they act and walk.

• Observe how they talk to women and how they keep a strong eye contact.

• Check how they flirt or tease women.

• Copy their body language or their verbal game.

After you absorb enough data from good masculine role models and practice these mannerisms, you will be able to form your own personal mix. You will end up developing your own masculine style and your own brand of confidence. We recommend you to start with the lead character in Suites, Harvey Specter.

5. Expose Yourself To Rejection

When it comes to this there are two schools of thought. The first tells you to avoid anything that might challenge your confidence. So, if approaching a girl you don't know has the risk of your getting rejected, just don't do it. It will "hurt your confidence". According to this logic, you should just stay away from the source of your discomfort or fear in order to preserve your confidence. But you have nothing to preserve! Here, we are talking about how to get confident, so you are not there yet, not to mention that this is Men of Charm, so you can guess that this would not be our school of thought, right?

The second one is to actually do the exact opposite: expose yourself to the very thing that scares you. And do this repeatedly until you get immune. Go out of your shell and demystify the source of your fear because it is your own avoidance of this exposure that keeps you shy and unconfident. Take a ton of action, talk to girls whenever and wherever feels uncomfortable to you, and get rejected. Collect as many rejections as possible. Don't set a goal for you to get rejected. Just be open to rejection and handle it correctly.

Apply these five things multiple times for a good amount of time and you will see your confidence with women to reach levels you never thought possible before.

Do you find it hard to boost your confidence with girls? Do you freeze at the sight of a very beautiful woman? We can help you with that. Book a coaching call with Men of Charm.