5 Signs You Play It Too Safe With Women

Most men’s problems who don’t have the dating lives that they want aren’t related to them being too much “aggressive”, but to them being too much timid.

Nowadays, with so much bad news about toxic masculinity and sexual harassment scandals it’s easy to believe that, overall, average men have become too much “macho” towards women, but this couldn’t be further from the truth.

Everyday guys are usually guilty of the exact opposite: they don’t take enough risks in life and with women in particular. They play it too safe with girls. They are afraid of “offending” them or being a nuisance or “causing some kind of a problem”.

Most men’s problems who don’t have the women they want in their lives are:

• about too little action, not too much

• about too much playing defense, not too much playing offence

• about being too much “civilized” and too little masculine

Women love boldness in a man just like men love physical beauty in a woman. However, while women, these days, offer a lot of physical beauty to men, men don’t offer as much charm and masculine energy to women in turn. This is something we know from our decade-long experience in helping men achieve their dating goals and get the women they want. It’s something that affects men of various age groups. Young guys in their 20s, but also more mature men in their 30s and 40s.

Even when guys overcome their anxiety and actually approach women, the way they continue interacting with them is not as strong as it should have been, which doesn’t lead to the desired results.

Without further ado, here are five signs that you play it too safe with women.

1. You Choose Vanilla Topics

Either right after you approach her or later during a date with girls, you avoid spicy, interesting or sexy topics and you stick to old, boring things such as small talk about work and studies. You do this because these topics form your own comfort zone. You choose to ask her questions instead of making statements and extending invitations to women because the former is so much easier for you compared to the latter. Making statements instead of asking questions, for instance, requires you that:

A) You have already shaped tastes and preferences and

B) You dare to express them to a woman you just met

Both of these feels “uncomfortable” to you. Extending invitations seems also “risky” for you because they entail the chance of rejection which is something that you don’t like and possibly avoid dealing with.

2. You Don’t Tease her

Teasing is all about flirting with a girl. It’s about creating light, artificial tension in a playful and humorous way. It’s a mix of making an observation about her with a slight negative (but playful) comment.

Example: this is such an amazing neckless. I swear to you my granny has one EXACTLY like that.

Most guys would think that this is an “insult”. They would rather avoid “insulting” the girl. But this is not an insult. It’s a cocky, ballsy, humorous comment served in a light-hearted, fun way. And do you know how most girls would find it? REFRESHING. Once you start doing this, you will see women becoming girls around you. They will start smiling, laughing or tease you back. Game on.

3. You Don’t Look Her In The Eye

It’s so basic and yet so elusive for most guys. They don’t even realize they are doing it. The more beautiful the girl the higher the odds they are going to be guilty of it. Most men get distracted by female beauty. This means that even if they gather the courage to actually approach a beautiful woman, they end up talking to her without looking her in the eye.

Where do they look at? Everywhere else but the girl. Their eyes start wandering up and down or on the side in a rapid fashion, exuding nervousness and unease. The woman, who is initially flattered by the guy’s approach, starts feeling uncomfortable reflecting back his own unease. Don’t do this. Relax. Take a deep breath and control your eye contact. Calmly and surely look her in the eye while you are talking to her. She will remember it forever. Very few men are capable of doing this so simple and so important thing for attracting and seducing women.

4. You Don’t Touch Her

If you can’t even penetrate her with your eyes, how can you possibly hope to penetrate her physically? Touching women the right way should be the next step. First, you establish a strong, charming eye contact and after a while, when you manage to create a more personal moment or a high point into your chat with her, you touch her lightly:

• On her hand

• On her elbow

• On her lower waist while walking with her

• On her thigh when things get hotter

5. You Spend Too Much Social Time With Her

All the above bring you to the point of spending time with women without making the atmosphere erotic early enough.

Just think about it for a minute.

• If you talk about unexciting, routine topics

• If you don’t tease her

• If you don’t establish a strong eye contact

• If you don’t touch her

Is it strange that you end up spending too much social time with women, but very little (if any) erotic time? There are few things that can lead women away faster from you than wasting their time by not making the atmosphere man-to-woman.

Women want things to move forward at a reasonable pace, not to remain stagnant at the same place. So, while in your mind “women want you to take it slow”, in reality women want to enjoy a fun, exciting time with you and they expect you to lead them there. Otherwise, they are either going to put you in the friendzone or to some kind of provider role that might not be in your best interest.

Conclusion

Most men are afraid of anything that might seem “edgy” or “extreme”. They avoid conflict in their entire lives, not wanting to “hurt anybody” and they extend this behavior to the way they interact with women.

They have been conditioned to be too much risk-averse and they end up hiding their erotic/sexual side which is the core element of the masculine energy that women are attracted to. Then, they wonder why they don’t attract women or why they don’t have the dating lives of their dreams.

If you are guilty of this risk-averse mentality, you will be better able to detect it, by focusing on these five signs:

You Choose Vanilla Topics

You Don’t Tease Her

You Don’t Look Her In The Eye

You Don’t Touch Her

You Spend Too Much Social Time With Her

Are you playing it too safe with women?

Do you need help becoming bolder in order to get the women you want?

Take action. Book a coaching call with us now.