4 Reasons Why A Girlfriend Pulls Away

It has happened to the best of us. A woman we approached, we took out on dates, we had sex with and we turned into a girlfriend has pulled away.

She either told you that she needs to take a break from you/from the relationship or she simply said nothing and just pulled back on her contact with you.

If even Brad Pitt couldn't avoid being divorced by his wife (Angelina Jolie), why would any other man on the planet believe that he could avoid being dumped by a wife or girlfriend?

A 2015 study by the American Sociological Association revealed that women initiate 69 percent of all divorces in the U.S. The same study also found that college-educated women initiate divorce at an even higher rate of 90 percent.

So, it's clear that women/girlfriends pulling away is far from unusual, but why do they pull away?

In Men of Charm, we like to always start from the factors of your dating life that you can control, and that's yourself and your own behavior.

1. You Became Boring

How would you feel if a woman you turned into a girlfriend had a model-type of body when you met her, but two years down the road she put on 50 pounds of weight?

You would feel cheated, right? I mean...you got attracted to a specific woman with a specific body type and two years down the road you are dealing with a completely different person. You feel less and less attracted to her because her physical appearance doesn't excite you like it used to. You cut down on sex with her and you become more distant. You even start looking for other women around you with more appealing appearances.

The same happens to girls when the exciting, charming, and sexy men they once met have turned into boring and predictable little boys.

• You used to contact her whenever you had time - now, you contact her every day.

• You used to text her with short, spicy messages - now, you share the story of your every day with her.

• You used to be less responsive to her communication - now, you reply right away to everything she sends you.

2. You Became Needy

Women are attracted to men who are loyal to their masculine core, no matter how hard they try to pull you away from it. You might hear women saying how much they want a caring and considerate guy, but the moment you become just that they will be appalled and leave. Leaving aside what girls say they want, you need to focus on what they really need; and that's a strong, independent man.

If when she met you, you were an independent and mentally tough guy, but then at some point of your relationship with her you showed emotional weakness, she might start to pull away. Before you turn her into a girlfriend you kept your independent personality and you respected her autonomy.

Along the way you got too comfortable with her. You made the relationship too much about her. You became a servant of her needs, but you ended up becoming controlling and putting too much pressure on her. You demanded more of the time she was ready to give you.

Remember, girls are like cats. They do not react well when pressed into a corner. If a man is too controlling or too needy, a woman may begin to feel like she's losing her independence. This can lead to her pulling away, as she may feel like she needs space or time to herself. If a man is not supportive of her goals or doesn't give her the freedom to pursue her own interests, a woman may begin to pull away as well.

3. You Stopped Evolving

When she met you, you had a life. You had friends you liked to go out with. You had projects and activities that you enjoyed putting energy in. Maybe you were going to the gym four days a week. Maybe you liked to spend time reading and learning about your favorite topics or maybe you were in the process of building a business.

All these are now gone because somehow you turned your girlfriend into the center of your entire life. You dropped your goals and turned HER into your goal. And that's lame.

No girl wants to be the center of your world. Instead, a woman wants to be part of a man's own journey. But for this to happen, you must have a journey for yourself in the first place.

The woman doesn't want to be the party of your life. She wants to be INVITED to the party of your life that YOU already have.

Women are attracted to passionate men who are busy and immersed into their own activities which nourish them and make them grow. If you start as a passionate man with various interests and end up a one-sided loser just because you met a girl, guess what does this say about you. Don't do it. Be true to what you love doing and women will love you for it.

4. It's In Her Nature

Brad Pitt, a successful man by all accounts, couldn't avoid being divorced by his wife. We also saw that according to research about 70% of the time it is women who divorce men, not the other way around.

Did all these women had to deal with men whom they chose, but later turned into boring and needy little boys?

Did all men in those cases abandon their lives, interests, and projects and focused too much on their women?

We don't know for sure.

On the one hand, it is absolutely possible for a man to be successful in all fields of life and completely unsuccessful in keeping a woman attracted to him.

We know this because we have coached many men well into their 40s with established careers who lost their women because they were indeed too nice, too accommodating , and too needy.

On the other hand, EVEN IF a man doesn't become boring and needy and doesn't abandon his own life for the eyes of a woman, IT STILL ISN'T guaranteed that he will keep his woman forever attracted to him.

So, what's the deal here?

How can this be explained?

Simple. It is in a woman's nature to change her mind about many things including whether she wants to stay with a man or go. A change of heart is a woman's prerogative, as they say, and it's true.

No matter how strong a man you can be, no matter how non-needy, emotionally mature, and mentally tough you are, no matter how interesting a life you managed to build for yourself, women will at some point change their mind about you.

They will get bored of you. They will get from hot to cold. They will need to play with another toy. They will want to shuffle things.

And that's ok.

If you are on your way to become the man we are telling you to become, you should be able to get bored with women earlier and easier than they get bored with you.

Conclusion

Women pulling away from men is more common than you think. Women can pull away for various reasons, but there are three you can control with your behavior and attitude.

If you were a happy, strong man, but you became a boring, needy boy who abandoned his own interests just because you got yourself a girlfriend or wife, then you run the risk of this woman pulling away from you.

By remaining an interesting guy and non-needy and by continuing to have a life that excites you, you minimize the odds of women leaving you. However, you will still not become immune to girls pulling away because it is in their nature to change their hearts and minds, to get bored, and to seek different options just for the fun of it.

Did a girl you liked pulled away from you?

Did your wife/girlfriend cut contact with you?

Don't wait. Book a coaching call with us.